English in Asia: Part two and back with Vengeance

After a few weeks of collecting pictures I'm back with another round of interesting English (and a little Spanish this time!) from countries in Asia! 

Submitted by Dan K. in South Korea

Sometimes you just have to call it as you see it.

Submitted by Cody D in Japan

 Most of this one is okay. Where it really gets me is in the the pluralized form of dear (What I'm guessing was their attempt at an affectionate term). But for whom... for whom?

Submitted by Dan G. in Vietnam?

 Some times you have to defecate, sometimes you have to attack... sometimes you have to do both, especially to he troops.

Submitted by Jason W. in Japan

 I don't think any commentary is needed on this one.

Submitted by Morgan M. in South Korea

After scruffy took his last bong hit his glazed eyes slowly peered into mine, he winked and tenderly barked, "Legalize."

Submitted by Josh N in Japan

A bit ironic but who doesn't want to have keen eyes for gramor (grammar). This is one of the downsides of using  katakana as a bridge to the glamorous English language.

Submitted by Josh N in Japan

How I've probably been seen in the eyes of some folks... One happy cracker.

Submitted by Josh N in Japan

Maybe she should clean the basket too....

Submitted by Josh N in Japan

Of the many things you can find on a street corner (namely hookers, flyers for call girls (shout out to you Las Vegas), crack cocaine and other assorted vices) maybe you too can find a "very fortunate peacefulness)

Submitted by Josh N in Japan

You are going to need one incredibly awesome leash my friend.

Submitted by Josh N in Japan

Is this a before or after smiley?

Submitted by Josh N in Japan

A synopsis of the mysterious and beloved life of number 5.

Submitted by Natalie L. in South Korea

Come one! Come all! Jump on the Kum Gang Express! Wait What?!

Submitted by Josh N in Japan

BIG LETTERS DON'T TROUBLE ME SO MUCH. I JUST READ THEM AS IF RON BURGUNDY WAS YELLING FROM ACROSS THE ROOM.

Submitted by Josh N in Japan

If you live in Okinawa I'll bet you can spot the spelling error (for those of you who don't it's Shisa)

Submitted by Josh N in Japan

USAF is all about the freedom of world peaceful... Only after we take over their planet of course.

Submitted by Josh N in Japan

Yes, lets walk to that town yourself. Way to ditch me bro...

Submitted by Josh N in Japan

I feel like this should be the title of a new ninja movie. "Coming soon to a theater near you... "The invincibility, Bad Rebel, Secretly Squad!" (insert danger music here!)

Submitted by Josh N in Japan

The boca has been known to be a weapon of mass insanity. (for the non-spanish speaking among you boca = mouth)

Submitted by Josh N in Japan

On the back of Climax Coffee you can park. What a world we live in!

Submitted by Alyssa M. in South Korea

Honestly I just thought this was a cool shirt. From what I'm told Minnesota is a winter home for many elephants though.

Submitted by Walter M. in Japan

A mans Japanese wife wanted to buy this for their little girl. He immediatelyw shot that idea down.

submitted by ? I lost your name!

You can go on, you can go under but you can't go in.... pet discrimination at its finest.

Submitted by Cody D in Japan

If you can't read the picture is says, "Dia de Los Muertos [day of the dead], TK Sapkid, Skull Beanfest"

Submitted by Josh N in Japan

I met this guy at the gym and he asked if he knew what the English on his shirt meant. He said no so I told him what his shirt says. He replied, "I have no Happy!"  He wears it nearly every day now.

Submitted by Josh N in Japan

So which one was your favorite? Do you have any of your own you would like to submit? Feel free to comment or leave a picture in the comment box below!

5 Reasons Why YOU Should Teach Abroad

We now live in a world once thought crazy enough to be Science Fiction. The combined knowledge of humanity is accessible by a few swipes of your fingertips. We live in a world where cars are beginning  to drive themselves, crypto-currency now exists and we have man made technology living on alien planets. Oh! Lets not forget the Sea Hawks won a Super Bowl. The world is becoming smaller and the people in it need a way to span the globe, bridge cultural gaps and communicate with each other. Where am I going with this? English. It's hard to believe this language, whose origin began in the backwoods of Europe so long ago, has risen to become one of the "global languages" of the modern world.

Shinjuku Tokyo, Japan

Nearly 3 years ago I became a teacher; More specifically an English teacher living abroad. In those years I've had experiences that have altered my ideas of what life is, how it should be lived and opened my eyes to the limitless possibilities this line of work, and more importantly this world, have to offer. Here are my top 5 reasons you should give teaching English as a foreign language a shot!

Some of my youngest students throwing up the dubs

#5 To Learn More About Your Language

Poetry?

If you take the journey and begin teaching English abroad you will indeed have to learn more about the language. At first you'll think, "I`m a native speaker! I know everything I need to know to speak fluently. Teaching it will be a breeze!" Then someone will ask you a question that you do not have the answer to: "Why do we need articles (a, an, the, some)? Why does English have 3 theres and 3 to's (they're, there, their/ too, to, two)? Why do you say 'turn on the light' when you aren't turning something?" Many of these questions will come up. Sometimes you will know the answer, sometimes you will guess and other times you will simply have to tell them, " I don't know..." and if you're a good teacher this will be followed by, "... but I'll find out!"

                                              

You'll begin to think about the language as it truly is. Something that is alive, something that continues to evolve as the world around it races ever faster into the future. This can be a scary thing at times. We often take our first language for granted. We know how to use it but not how it works. If you want to be a successful teacher, or more successful at using your language, learn how it works!

Sky Tree Tokyo, Japan

#4 To become Cultured

Kenchoji Temple in Kamakura, Japan

“The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.” - Saint Augustine

I'm a big believer in the aforementioned quote.  Imagine you are a humble goldfish living your life inside a tank in some home in suburbia. For you, life revolves around getting fed and swimming around the only world you know. Sure, you can see outside of it, you can gain some insight into the outside world from the feisty teenager who plays his/her music too loud for your little fish ears. Alas, you only have the faintest understanding of what's out there. If you are able to read this post you are truly blessed. You live in a world where you can learn just about anything. You can see your house from space, watch cat videos endlessly on YouTube or learn the history of the Samurai on audio books  But, you can't truly live the experiences the outside world has waiting for you unless you get up off your bum and get out there. If you don't you'll never know what the streets of Seoul smell like after the rain, how the lovely Japanese toilets warm your buns during the winter or how fulfilling it is when someone who in the past didn't even know you existed now hangs on your every word and calls you teacher or sensei.

An older gent enjoying the Lotus lantern festival activities in Seoul, South korea

Teaching abroad isn't just a learning experience for your students but also for you. You'll quickly learn the taboo's (for heavens sake don't stick your chopsticks in rice while eating with Japanese people), the curse words (especially you folks braving the wild lands of Korea), and just how similar humans are despite the culture gap. Of course not everything will come quickly or easily. It will take you years to master their language, to understand the customs, and most importantly to stop trying to compare your culture with theirs. Hopefully you'll grow to see all sides of both their culture and your own: the good, the terrific, the bad, the horrific and the beautiful.  Doing this will open the doors of your own mind to accept the good, disregard the bad and be open to all of the thousands of different views you'll come across. Essentially teaching abroad will either force you to grow as a human or crush you under the weight of your own preconceived notions of what this world is.

Confucian Academy in South Korea

#3 To Make an Impact

“Words are a pretext. It is the inner bond that draws one person to another, not words.” 
― Rumi

Whether you're teaching children or adults you will influence peoples lives, hopefully for the better. Teaching a language isn't solely about the grammar points or vocabulary, it's about giving people a voice. It's giving children a gift, a tool if you will, that they can use to make friends, to learn about the places outside of their bubble and perhaps allow them the opportunity to succeed on a global scale.

Shuri Castle in Okinawa representing Taiwan, Japan and 'Merika

For adolescents and adults you're giving them a shot to pass tests to get into high school/college or pass a work exam. You're also giving them the opportunity to increase their circle of friends allowing the world to become one step closer to understanding itself. Unfortunately you may not be remembered by these people 5-10 years down the road; but there will be things you taught them that they will keep forever. (Do you remember who taught you the word "platypus"?) Teaching is a job of giving and even if that gift isn't fully realized by others you can stand tall knowing something you gave will last a lifetime for someone else.

DakGalbi with Korean friends/students

#2 To Meet the Other Half of the World

The Gimhae massive. Folks from the UK, South Africa and  the USA.

Want to have an incredibly diverse group of friends who hail from all over this blue globe we call earth? Teaching abroad will give you your shot! Whether you're looking for love, friendship, a few buddies to play poker or shoot hoops with they can be found. Currently my Facebook feed is filled with posts from people on every continent (except Antarctica ... penguins still can't use computers yet... sigh) many of these folks teach abroad. Many of them still keep in contact and we often live vicariously through each others adventures. Before teaching I may not have ever known these amazing people existed! Now, it's hard not to jump up and do the hokey pokey when I chat with them or see the amazing adventures they have been on.

Bowling in Japan

Brits and Yanks enjoying baseball in South Korea

You'll also make a connection with the native people of where you are teaching. It can be a great chance to learn about their culture, study a new language or have a good time with. Often enough these acquaintances will become friends and you can share in exploring their country or culture with them. They'll share their life, their thoughts and will love hearing about yours as well. And if you're phenomenally lucky you'll find love! Many people find foreign boyfriends/girlfriends and I've even had a few friends find the love of their life! Take a second and think about this for a moment. Right now, thousands of miles away, in some place you've never dreamed of planting your feet, could be your future best friend, the future co-parent of your children and your in-laws (the last one may or may not be such a sugary concept). Take a chance! What you're looking for could be out there waiting!

I found my Love abroad

#1 To Have Fun

Afro Panda Halloween 2013

Teaching abroad should be fun! It wont always be easy, but it should generally be fun. Whether you're the adventurous type (scuba, rock climbing, epic bike trips, theme parks or climbing tall things) or the more laid back (laying on the beach, camping in the wild, reading a book at a cozy little cafe) you will find a chance to enjoy what you are doing outside of work. Now, work can be fun too! Maybe you'll dress up for Halloween or Christmas; Have a beach party; go on field trips or just enjoy the time with children and adults. With all you've got enjoy the little moments that make you smile, laugh and relish the fact that you are alive, and living a dream.

Oktober Fest in Busan South Korea

Another day at the office. Student beach party 2013

Sometimes you just have to let loose. Photo has been edited to protect the not so innocent

 Lastly, it's important you do your homework before choosing a place to work. If you have an overseas interview ask to talk to several of the foreign staff members or the person you'll be replacing to get a better idea of the work culture you'll soon be in. Lastly, make sure it's a good fit for you. If you don't like children don't take a job where you will be teaching children all day! If you hate the cold don't go somewhere you'll freeze to death! Or you'll end up wasting everyone's time in the process. Good luck!

For all you foreign teachers out there what have your experiences been? Is there anything you would add to this list? Please feel free to share in the comments section below! Thanks for reading!

Don't be scared to comment!

EDIT: Here are a few starting resources for anyone looking to teach abroad:

Japan: http://www.jetprogramme.org/ , http://www.interacnetwork.com/recruit/japan.html , https://jobs.gaijinpot.com/

Korea: http://www.peoplerecruit.com/e_page/index.php?move_dir=etc&sub_page=menu01 , http://www.teachaway.com/teach-english-korea/epik-english-program-korea-public-school-jobs-korea

Also utilize your google-fu ! There are TONS of jobs out there! 

South Korea: The Bottom 6

For every top there is a bottom. Here is my list of the things I didn't quite like about Korea. This isn't meant to say they are the worst things in the galaxy. Please keep in mind this is only from my experiences and times in Korea. Every person is bound to have a different opinion or experience based on the time and place they were/are located.

Number 6: The world is Your Parking lot.

We've all seen the joker who takes up two parking spaces for their luxury car, the person in a hurry at the grocery store who parks their car in the loading zone and the guy who parks with the tail end of their large vehicle poking out into the street. These are regular annoyances all drivers will come across at some point in time. To put it into a metaphor if bad parking in the USA is minor league baseball, Korea (and perhaps Asia) is the big leagues. Every day I was reminded that I was but a pilgrim in a strange land. Places meant for people to walk would be blocked by a car forcing pedestrians to casually walk into the street. This is normal life in Korea.

I  NEED MY STARBUCKS NOW!!

Now, I can understand if there is an emergency. You're having a baby or some other important medical emergency? Fuck it park where ever the hell you want! But if you just want coffee and can't be bothered to walk a block or park in the basement parking I have no sympathy for you. Also be wary of drunk drivers who after realizing they are entirely too drunk to drive a vehicle park their car in a somewhat inconspicuous places.

There is a man in this picture

One night after a few drinks a friend and I stumbled upon a man half in his car. He was pleading for help from Koreans passing by but to no avail. He eventually saw us gawking at him and decided to ask us to help (with what we have no idea). "Heeeeelp" he stammered. When we asked him what he needed help with he just continued to say help until he passed out (still half way in the car). We joked that it would be funny to tie one of us up, put us in the backseat or trunk and see how he reacted when he awoke. By the morning his car was gone but he left behind a rather funny story.

Number 5: The Zoo

One fat pussy cat

I don't know why I still go to these places. When you're a child the Zoo is a wonderful place to see creatures from far off lands. Things that you may only see on TV or in a book. Though when you become an adult they are basically animal prisons. Don't get me wrong some establishments are incredibly well run with the animals health (both mental and physical) being the utmost priority. Though I don't think Korea got this memo. 

Wolf in a cage

On a trip to Daegu I decided the zoo would be a good stop. I hadn't seen much wildlife in Korea and I was hankering to see something other than pigeons and stray cats. Soon after entering the zoo the old familiar feeling of "Why the F' did I come to one of these places again," crept over me. The picture above is of a wolf who was put into a tiny cage. It spent the entire time pacing back and forth, back and forth. On the floor laid a slab of meat that hadn't been touched. The wolf looked as though it had gotten cabin fever and written an entire novel using only the sentence, "All work and no play makes wolfie a dull boy." This was at the first exhibit I strolled through.

1.5 tusked elephant

After making the rounds I finally ended up at the elephant exhibit. It was a small enclosure with a barn like structure behind it surrounded by a ditch to keep the elephants in. I think one of the two elephants had literally lost it's mind. It kept doing the same action over and over and over again. It was a true shame to see such an amazing animal housed in such a despicable place. I hand't thought about this until recently when I visited Ueno zoo in Tokyo. The elephants there had much more room to roam and seemed happy and well cared for. 

Number 4: Foreigner Treatment


Korea was once aptly named the hermit kingdom. A lot has changed since that name was first given. People are becoming more aware of the world around them and often more accepting of the things it offers. Yet there is still a lingering wonder in the hearts and minds of many Korean folks about foreigners and foreign cultures. Now before I start this one let me drop a disclaimer. Nearly all of the folks I met in Korea were wonderful people. They'd help when they could, tried to practice their English and perhaps even buy you a dinner. But in every bunch there's always bound to be a few bad bananas. This section is about these folks and ideas.

blatant racism in my classes textbook? Or harmless cartoons depicting facts?

Someone once mentioned foreigner fever before I came to Korea. For along time it was rather rare to see western foreigners in Korea. Even to this day it can be rare to see someone away from the major cities or military bases that is western. This can lead to a lot of stares, as if you were some interesting being from outer space. It can be kind of cool sometimes but other times you just have to wonder what the hell they're staring at and thinking. Some of the more verbose characters out there will come up to you and practice English and tell you how handsome/beautiful you are and that you look like such and such celebrity. This can also be fun sometimes but if you hear the same thing enough times it looses its luster quick. One friend of mine was always stopped by large groups of young men and told how handsome he was. He said he loved the attention but was upset that it was all men who said it. Which leads me to my next point...

gay Alen in Wonderland comic

Apparently there are no homosexuals in Korea. It would be utterly unrealistic to think there are homosexuals there... unless they are part-time K-pop girl lesbians. That could be okay. Hopefully you've picked up on the sarcasm but if you haven't let it be known homosexuality isn't an accepted way of life in Korea. Rather than acknowledge that it is out there it's simply swept under a cultural taboo rug and forgotten about. Of course it does exist, and people prefer just not to acknowledge it. (once again this isn't everyone!)

Drunk and racist.

Xenophobia is the irrational or unreasonable fear of that which is perceived to be foreign or strange

This lovely lady above happened to be one of the most outwardly racist folk myself and others had the displeasure of happening upon. we were a group of about 30 foreigners meeting up to go on a boat ride together when this random lady shows up and starts saying, "Go home Yankees !" (which was incredibly humorous considering more than half of us were not from the USA  and none of us played baseball for New York) and throwing every curse word ,in Korean, she could think of at us. At first we tried not to acknowledge her but after awhile the temptation became too much. People began gently talking back to her, posing for pictures with her in the background and joking to lighten up the mood. Eventually, between sips of Makgoelli (막걸리), she finally cracked a smile and laughed with us too. 

For some children this is their first glimpse at other cultures.

The last thing I'm going to mention is be very careful of your employer (especially if you work in an English school). You can find horror stories written all over the internet depicting the hell some folks went through. As for myself I learned one very important thing. Contracts don't have the same status as they do in the west. In the end I lost a few thousand dollars to my former bosses who refused to pay me before and after I had left the country. After going through all the steps of filing a petition with the Korean Government and joining in on a lawsuit with my former Korean coworkers he filed for bankruptcy and no one got anything. In total he saved nearly 30 thousand dollars through unethical business practices. From listening to others in my same city this is still a widespread problem although the government has been taking steps to protect foreign workers. If you ever find yourself in a sub par situation don't make the same mistake I did. DO NOT HESITATE to utilize the services available to you. For more information you can check out http://www.moel.go.kr/english/main.jsp .

I included this section to give people wishing to travel to Korea a heads up on what they may expect. As I stated earlier the majority of people you meet will be amazing, kind-hearted people. As time continues its march into the future I think things will/are changing for the better. 

Number 3: The Streets Paved with Spit

 After seeing the streets and sidewalks in Korea you will no longer have to wonder why taking shoes off inside is so common. Walking, especially at night, is like stepping through a mine field. There's spit, leaflets thrown on the ground as advertising, occasional piles of fresh puke, random dung droppings of dogs whose owners are assholes, and if you're lucky a stream of urine crossing your path from an old man too lazy to find a bathroom nearby. The streets of Korea can be FILTHY!

On weekends in Busan the popular areas for night life will be littered with advertisements, spit, cigarette butts, puke and god knows what else. Though by mid morning it will all be cleaned up and ready for the next nights barrage.

 Trash from businesses is also left on the street for pickup by their sanitation services. Though some people are a bit antsy to get it out of their businesses and put it out a day or two early. Stray animals will also find a way to tear them open, eat what they can and spread out the rest until someone comes and stops them. 

Yellow dust, from China, also comes in once a year. This shit is disgusting. The air will be filled with it. It looks like a sandstorm/smog storm. It will linger for a bit then settle or move on. While I was there we had a rainstorm during the yellow dust season and the picture above shows what it left behind. This dust was everywhere. All the gutters were filled with it. Although it isn't something that can be avoided it is definitely something to be aware of. You shouldn't leave your windows open or a fine coat of this nasty stuff will coat everything. 

If all else fails just throw your junk in an alley!

Lastly it can be nearly impossible to find a trash can outside. So the random piles of trash waiting to be picked up can be a godsend if you've just finished your ice cream and don't want to carry the wrapper with you. Trash is often discarded on benches, sidewalks or anywhere else that is convenient at the time. Eventually someone will clean it, take it to be recycled or throw it away. Overall I didn't like the logic of the no public trashcan policy.

Note: At all large apartment buildings they have an area for trash and recycled goods. This system is fantastic. Although the security at my building could be recycling Nazi's (what do you mean I cant put this clear glass bottle with the brown glass bottle?!) they have it down to an art form. At my building recyclable goods could be put out once a week and trash could be taken out anytime.

Number 2: Bathrooms  (화장실 )

Washrooms, toilets, bathrooms and restrooms whatever you call them we all use them. Some are nicer than others but in Korea it's nearly always a game of Russian Roulette. Outside of the smells that seem to be constantly emitted by them (especially during the summer) bathrooms in Korea aren't usually a desirable experience. If you're in the vicinity of a nice shopping mall or newer buildings they can actually be quite lovely. The imported Japanese toilets will warm your buns, make sounds, clean your bum and even deodorize! The usual places you'll need to go though might not be up to par.

Obviously designed by the brightest of minds

Sometimes it seems that the person who designed the bath room was drunk. Urinals will be places incredibly close together, placed on either side of a sink, or will be inaccessible to handicapped folks. Also due to the drinking habits it isn't uncommon to see them filled with vomit (toilets, urinals and squatters alike) if their nearby restaurants. I can't speak for Seoul but in Busan and nearby areas bathrooms were used by all businesses on the floor they were located. If the building didn't have a hired cleaning staff the cleaning of the restrooms was left up to the business owners. This could lead to the toilets never being cleaned due to the fact no one wanted to take responsibility for them.

Still not sure how to fucking use these things

The squatter toilets (pictured above) was a locally hated by all guys who direly needed to drop a duece. It is incredibly inconvenient, many are installed in weird ways and you're never sure if it's safe to keep your pants on or take them off. Generally when these were found we'd have to hold it until something that could be sat on was found in the vicinity. These old style toilets can be found throughout Asia and are generally hated by all foreigners I've asked.

Some places are generally decent. If you've got to go subway/rail stations and shopping malls are a good bet.

A final note that was told to me on my first day was you should always carry toilet paper with you as well. There were many times friends of mine hadn't heard this advice and had nothing to wipe with after rocking the thunder dome. As stated before some bathrooms aren't "claimed" by anyone therefore no one will stock the bathrooms with TP (though some establishments have TP hanging near the exit closest to the bathroom). Always be prepared!

Number 1: Scooters

During my time in Korea there was always one thing I was terrified of. Scooters. I find it a bit ironic now due to the fact my current mode of transportation is indeed a scooter. Now, these folks are fucking crazy. I've seen scooters loaded down with three or four people hauling ass down the streets. I've seen delivery drivers on scooters go a smooth 45kph on the sidewalk. And I've seen a scooter plow into an old man crossing the crosswalk causing him to break his leg and lay in the intersection howling in pain.

Hey why don't we just flip a u-turn at this busy intersection? Fuck it! (true story)

Scooters are a very efficient mode of transportation but their drivers can be a bit dangerous. I was almost hit several times during my stay and learned to always keep an eye out for them.

We didn't start the fire

Also during my stay the law on scooters wasn't clearly established. A few of my friends had scooters and didn't need a license to use them. They were able to drive on either the sidewalk or the street though I heard that has been changed. Regardless if you find yourself walking the streets of Korea always keep an eye and an ear out for scooters!

Well this is the conclusion of my list! I hope you enjoyed your time here and feel free to disagree, argue  with or post your own experiences! Thanks for reading!