English Fails in Asia

Welcome back! This weeks post is all about English fails. Some are funny, some are odd, others are completely incomprehensible. Many of these were submitted by folks roaming the depths of the interwebs (Thank you fellow W.I.G.gers and GIO's). If you have your own picture you would like to submit feel free to do so in the comments section!

Small errors make a big difference

Submitted by Matt. V in Vietnam

Can you find the error?

Submitted by Josh N. in Korea

Freshly smorked turkey for Thanksgiving.

Submitted by Chris L. in Japan

Try sounding this out. No really try.

Submitted by Chris L. in Japan

Sound like a J. Lo movie.

Submitted by Josh N. found in Korea (yes it was imported from Japan)

Only the good stuff please.

submitted by Josh N. in Korea

They accept all forms of trash.

Submitted by Josh N. in Japan

know your no/know's

Submitted by Johanna H. in Korea

Gotta love that natural Vage.

Wait What??

Submitted by Chris L. in Japan

There`s a time for everything under heaven.

Submitted by Chris L. in Japan

Me love you no long time

Submitted by Josh N. in Korea

When I think sexy lady I think Fisho, wait a sec... 

Submitted by Chris L. in Japan

This parking lot narrates your driving style as you descend.

Submitted by Josh N. in Japan

Taking notes all the time! No wonder the Japanese are such scholastically oriented people

Submitted by Chris L. in Japan

Its tough to ban walking in slopes but someone has to take a stand.

Submitted by James N. in China

Truly, words to live life by.

Just for Laughs

Submitted by Lisa D. in Korea

Sometimes it happens...

Submitted by Chris L. in Japan

Hey do you want some lame stickers kids?!

Submitted by Chris L. in Japan

The Japanese says, "please don't stand on the toilet seat." I guess that's popular enough to make a sign.

Submitted by Chris L. in Japan

There's nothing like mentioning funny tv while putting down game.

Submitted by James N. in Hong Kong

Stairs have been known to kill people. Be safe out there.

Submitted by Josh N. in Korea

Needless to say it wasn't what I expected

Submitted by Josh N. in Korea

Why be lord of the dance when you can be lord of the study?

Submitted by Josh N. in Japan

 Sorry for all the Brit's out there

Submitted by Josh N. in Korea

I've found the secret to life.

Submitted by Josh N. in Korea

Heresy! 

Submitted by Josh N. in Japan

Exercise vigorously frog style.

Submitted by Josh N. in Japan

All inclusive services.

Submitted by Josh N. in Korea

I don't know about you but when I think of love I don't think of condom machines found in the subway bathroom or red perfume.

Fashion Statements

Submitted by Josh N. in Japan

I guess if you see the socks it's time to get down to business.

Submitted by Josh N. in Japan

If the picture quality isn't fantastic it says, "I've got a crash on you."

Submitted by David T. in Japan

Whatever you do, do it joyfully and in a way others can't understand.

Submitted by Hollie W. in Korea

This has been said in so many ways. Sometimes you should just be direct about it and put it on a jacket.

  

Submitted by Chris L. in Japan

The rate of boys having crushes on rock stars is too damn high!

Submitted by Josh N. in Korea

 I've heard Nevada called the place "where dreams go to die" but perhaps there is a silver lining in there somewhere? I was just happy to see that the Koreans were repping my home state!

Submitted by David T. in Japan

I can't say I know what they are going for here. Any thoughts of your own on this one?

Submitted by Josh N. in Korea

They give you good American mind. Conspiracy theorists start your brain-trains. 

Submitted by Josh N. in Japan

Well that's kind of depressing...

Submitted by Josh N. in Japan

This is my absolute favorite. It was in the toddler section.

Something to ponder whilst you stare into the abyss

Submitted by Josh N. in Korea

DaVinci was a dirty man.

Submitted by Farren S. in Korea

Damn self drinking water or DAMN! Self drinking water! I gotta see this!

Submitted by James N
Sometimes you give sometimes you get

Submitted by Johanna H in Korea

Not so much an English error but interesting to know snail extract is in high demand these days.

Submitted by Josh N. in Korea

Look at that font and color. So much anger.

Submitted by Johanna H. in Korea

For those of you truly looking to have real eyelids Eye Click has just what you need... double eyelid tape.

Submitted by Josh N. in Japan

Have you ever ridden in a Joy pop limited? Do you want to?

Submitted by Josh N. in Japan

Hey dude! I heard you got a new car! What kind did you get? ..."A brand new Be Go!"

Submitted by Josh N. in Korea

Hey bro, I think it's time we got a wax.

Soju and Kimchi: The Devilish Treasures of Korea

Perhaps you may have seen the title of my last blog entry and wondered what in the hell soju and Kimchi are. It's my hope your interest was peaked and if you didn't think it was worth the time to Google fear not I'm here to tell you.

 We will begin with kimchi (김치) which seems to be the more known of the two.

      ^one variety of kimchi^

Kimchi is essentially pickled cabbage covered in pepper sauce to make it kick-in-the-mouth spicy. There are hundreds of varieties of kimchi, some using vegetables other than cabbage. It's eaten in countries all over the globe but its main consumers are found in Asia specifically Korea, Japan and China. Traditional kimchi is allowed to ferment underground in jars for months at a time until it reaches the "just right" standard. It is typically eaten with every meal and can be made into a variety of dishes including: soup, stew, fried rice and even pancakes! (the pancakes are called Kimchi jjigae for anyone interested). Kimchi is also relatively popular here in Japan and can be found in any grocery store; although it goes by the slightly different name of kimuchi(キムチ). In recent years though much of the kimchi found abroad is made and processed in manufacturing plants in China (ah the joys of cheaper labor even come into play with kimchi).

Before moving to Korea I had never even heard of this spicy dish sent from the heavens above. Nearly a year later I can't imagine living the rest of my life without it. Some folks, especially those sensitive to spicy foods, find it to be of a disagreeable taste. But, for those of us who enjoy the feeling of our mouths burning in spicy deliciousness kimchi is a cheap staple of life.

Next up is soju (소주).

    ^just a typical amount for a roof party^

Now, soju literally means "burned liquor." Which I believe to be a rather good description of it. It tastes a bit like vodka but a tinge off due to extra sugar and/or other ingredients added in its production. It also lacks the "burn" vodka leaves in the mouth and throat, making it a dangerous affair on the nights you tango with soju. It can be taken as a shot, blended with juice or mixed with beer to create mekchu(sp?). It has an alcohol content of 16-45% and is dirt cheap to purchase. It costs about $1-4USD and comes in a variety of sizes, brands and flavors.

       ^the green bottles are soju^

My first dance with soju began a few days after I had arrived in Gimhae. I was invited out to dinner with a few foreigners and of course soju made its way to the table. I had my first shot and was surprised that it lacked the "burn" I had thought it would have. Needless to say I had a few more throughout the dinner thinking it to be a weak alcohol. Then I stood up. My mind felt fine but my body was feeling it. I had to fight to stay steady around my new companions and eventually made it to my hotel slightly wobbling the entire way. After that day consuming soju was a rather usual affair for the better part of my stay in Korea.

Soju is a staple of adult Korean life. If you walk down the street and peer into the windows of restaurants or take a gander at the outdoor tables you will indubitably see the trademark green bottles littered across nearly every table. Young adults and those of a more ancient time have enjoyed and will continue to enjoy the sweet nectar of soju. 

But it's not only Koreans who enjoy soju. Worldwide two soju brands, Jinro and Lotte Liquor, sold nearly 90 million cases of Soju in 2011 (according to CNN these companies ranked first and third in worldwide hard liquor sales). Many of these cases did indeed stay within Korea but I would be hard pressed to believe if you have not run across soju at one time or another. If anyone is interested in trying this beverage it can be found most readily at Costco and is becoming increasingly popular at liquor stores across America.

I couldn't leave this post without giving at least one lesson. If you ever find yourself drinking with one of the friendly Koreans you're going to need to know how to say "cheers." (insert cheesy drum roll here). GEONBAE!! (건배) 

^yes that is indeed an octopus wielding a soju machine gun^